One part about COVID-19 that doesn’t always get reported in all the stats and numbers and news coverage is the virus’ inexplicable skill of worming its way in, without fail, at the worst possible moment. In addition to being incredibly and increasingly contagious, it also has a particular knack for striking when you least want it to. This can have its own side effects, sometimes to dangerous degrees.
Planning on going home for Christmas? COVID. Planning on celebrating Christmas with your family because you couldn’t make it home for the last one? COVID. Planning on going to a wedding? COVID. Planning on meeting your baby niece? COVID. Planning on going on your first international trip in a long while? COVID. Visiting a friend for your spring break? COVID. About to go see your favorite band play in Big Sur for your anniversary? COVID. Just arriving in NYC for a month filled with plans? COVID. Having one of your best friend come stay with you for Halloween weekend? COVID. Looking forward to something you haven’t been able to do for a while, something you’ve been planning for a while, something exciting and meaningful and and important to you? COVID.
This is just the short list of all the worst times my friends and family and I have caught COVID-19. The list of risk factors for the newest variant should now include: imminent approach of that thing you were looking forward to. One of the potential symptoms is now medical-grade F.O.M.O. Because of the limited exposure we all had to F.O.M.O. during the early months of the pandemic, when there were no events to be missed, we have limited tolerance built up, so cases of F.O.M.O. are now more likely to reach servere levels, more quickly. It doesn’t matter what the event you can no longer attend is, it now becomes the most important event, the one you’ll never live again, the one you’ll never be able to replicate. Half of the pain of the quarantine, if you’re lucky to have a light case of it (as I am), is the sadness that comes with disappointed expectations. The exceptions to this rule are few and far between. The worse cases of it are severe. I’ve even seen, on Instagram, a bride walk down the aisle with a cardboard cut out of her husband in hand. Finally having your wedding day that was delayed twice due to the pandemic? Groom gets COVID.
Here is a common case of simultaneous COVID-19 + F.O.M.O. unfolding in a young and otherwise healthy patient, with no other comorbidities:
Day -1: Feel slightly unwell, but knowing that thing you’re so looking forward to is approaching soon, don’t think much of it and take lots of vitamins and act as if all is well.
Day 0: Recognize that you’re still not feeling well, and take more vitamins, and start worrying about whether or not whatever this is is going to get in the way of your plans. Take a test to check, get a negative result, proceed as planned and hope whatever it is passes soon, before that thing you’re looking forward to arrives.
Day 1: Feel more unwell, hope against all hope it’s nothing serious. Start reassessing plans and wondering what you can and can’t do with what you tell yourself is just a cold. Take another test wishing for confirmation. Watch the test anxiously, and see that second pink line reveal itself at the worst possible moment.
Day 2: Feel terrible. Lament your fate and your missed events and your friends while nursing your symptoms in bed with tea and T.V.
Day 3: Medical-grade F.O.M.O. may now reach a dangerous point, and may need professional treatment.
Day 4 and onwards: Acceptance, if you’re lucky.
Note that the severity of cases of F.O.M.O. are directly tied to the number of friends hanging out without you, the amount of time you have been looking forward to the event, the importance attributed to the event, and other factors that can be hard to measure. While not yet fully understood, there is also an inverse relationship between severity of COVID-19 symptoms and F.O.M.O. symptoms.
In my particular case, because of the extenuating factors of my situation (multiple friends hanging out in my house) and details of my medical history (extrovert, prone to bouts of loneliness), my medical-grade F.O.M.O. hit hard and fast, and continued to escalate over Day 2 and 3. By Day 3 (today), it was clear some treatment would be needed.
I called mid-day to make an appointment with my therapist. The receptionist on the other end of the line asks what the cause or need for an appointment is, saying in her receptionist voice that I can share as much and as little as I’d like. “I got Covid again and it’s really frustrating, and isolating,” I say. “I’m sorry to hear to you’re not feeling well,” she says, as everyone does. “That can be so frustrating. I got COVID last Halloween, too, so I know how annoying that is.” She tells me, dropping her receptionist voice now, that her best friend’s birthday is on November 1st, and that they had a plan to go out the weekend before to celebrate, had costumes and everything, but as they started to get ready she started to feel unwell, and so didn’t go. She tells me that she went to the doctor the next morning, who quickly told her she was positive, and that she needed to go home and stay away from everyone. I, in turn, then tell her that my best friend was coming for Halloween weekend and a concert, and that my COVID test turned positive right as she walked in the door, as I’ve been telling everyone who will listen. “I had all our costumes planned, too!”, I tell her, and she grunts in understanding. We laugh and lament about the COVID curse, and bemoan that we’re still here, dealing with new variants at every turn. She tells me to treat myself to a good movie and curl up in a blanket. I tell her I’ve been having lots of soup and watching cooking shows. After a beat and sigh, she schedules me for an appointment, and tells me to expect a call back tomorrow. When it’s time to hang up, I tell her, very sincerely: “Thank you, I really appreciate it,” by which I mean, “You’re the first person who really gets it”, and I hope she gets that too.
And also, somehow, it’s always good timing. At least you didn’t get on the plane and have COVID at the wedding, or when seeing your grandparents or meeting a baby. At least you didn’t get sick and stuck needing to quarantine in a foreign city. At least you were able to celebrate your birthday before it hit, or attend that important work event, or go to that concert. And least you didn’t go to that event and spread it to others there, too. At least now you have some more immunity, for a months ahead. At least it won’t get you for your next most important thing. Until, invariably, once again, it does.
ACCURATE!! Sad True Love Story. ( nothing like writing to ease the pain - a little - I hope)
Hop you feel better soon!